Chatting with the Cullens
by IronHeartAlchemist
Summary: My first Im thingy..its actually quite funny
1. Intro

**Hey yallz, this is my first fanfic so be nice and review! i know its not that good but i wrote it in like, 20 mins, so...enjoy!**

**P.S. This is for you Jakey!!!**

**Question of the day:**

_How many people have you gotten hooked on the Twilight universe?_

**I think I've gotten like, 6..ha! beat that! anyways...lol!**

**IMing with the Cullens**

*Vampgirl*-Bella  
ShinyVolvoOwner-Edward  
Knowzhowufeel-Jasper  
ObsessiveShopper-Alice  
ReincarnationofBeauty-Rosalie  
Grizzlayman-Emmett  
VampyMama-Esme  
DocterC-Carlisle  
WolfyBoi-Jacob  
UrFavWolf-Seth  
Renesmee-SuperNessie  
DownWithSeth-Leah  
Brittn3yCull3n-Me (_**wait, you can put u in it?**_ _why yes, yes i can_)

_*Vampgirl* has signed on_

_ShinyVolvoOwner has signed on _

_ObsessiveShopper has signed on_

*Vampgirl*- Hi Edward!  
ShinyVolvoOwner- Hi Bells!  
ObsessiveShopper- I feel so unloved.  
*Vampgirl*- Why Alice, my favorite sister?  
ObsessiveShopper- because you said 'hi edward!' and didnt bother to say hi to me.... :(  
ShinyVolvoOwner- Bella she is just trying to make you feel guilty so you will go shopping with her  
ObsessiveShopper-EDWARD! YOU STUPID MIND READING VAMPIRE!  
*Vampgirl*-calm down alice  
ObsessiveShopper-why!?  
*Vampgirl*- because we went shopping yesterday and i would have said no no matter what  
ShinyVolvoOwner- She has a point alice, she was thinking that  
ObsessiveShopper-WAIT! you cant hear her thoughts! what am i missing?  
*Vampgirl*-I was working on that whole sheild thing...and he kinda heard what i was thinking.  
ShinyVolvoOwner-You are getting quite good at that bella  
*Vampgirl*-Thank you hunny!  
ObsessiveShopper-*gags*  
*Vampgirl*-oh shut up alice you and jasper always give me nightmares with what you talk about  
ShinyVolvoOwner- Bella...we can't sleep.  
*Vampgirl*-I know that...i meant like...uh...what are we talking about?

_GrizzlayMan has signed on_

_ReincarnationofBeauty has signed on_

*Vampgirl*- Emmett! Hey big bro!  
GrizzlayMan- Hey bells!  
ShinyVolvoOwner-hey rose, where is ness-i mean...renesmee  
*Vampgirl*- Ya.... I thought you guys were going hunting with her today...where is she rose?  
ReincarnationofBeauty- calm down bella, Take a guess where she is....  
*Vampgirl*-She's with Jake?  
ReincarnationofBeauty- duh.  
ShinyVolvoOwner- stupid mongrel...  
*Vampgirl*- hmph

_DownwithSeth has signed on_

ReincarnationofBeauty- Leah are you with ness, seth and jake?  
DownwithSeth- sadly, yes  
*Vampgirl*-Tell Jake to get Renesmee on the computer, NOW. I haven't talked to her in a while....oh and edward?  
ShinyVolvoOwner- Yes Bella?  
*Vampgirl*- next time, remind me to say no and not go hunting for this long again....and next time we have to take renesmee with us....  
ShinyVolvoOwner- ok  
DownwithSeth- whatever guys, i'll go get them, hang on

_DownwithSeth has signed off_

*Vampgirl*- wait, did she say _them_?  
ObsessiveShopper- Why is nobody talking to poor ol alice?  
*Vampgirl*-idk, where is jazz?  
ObsessiveShopper-good question...

_ObsessiveShopper has signed off _

_SuperNessie has signed on _

_Wolfyboi has signed on _

_DownwithSeth has signed on_

_UrFavWolf has signed on_

ReincarnationofBeauty- oh great the MUTS are on  
WolfyBoi- oh great the LEECHES are on

SuperNessie- be nice jake...!  
WolfyBoi- Sorry Ness  
ShinyVolvoOwner-Bella just wanted to talk to Renesmee not the whole wolf pack Leah.  
DownwithSeth- Sorry, jake didnt even want her on  
*Vampgirl*-Jake....shes MY daughter...if i want to talk to her alone i will  
Wolfyboi-Theres something called a phone that you could use....

_ObsessiveShopper has signed on _

_Knowzhowufeel has signed on_

ObsessiveShopper- Look edward! I found him hiding in his cute little emo corner  
Knowzhowufeel- thanks alice....  
ReincarnationofBeauty-long time no see jasper  
Knowzhowufeel- ya..well i can feel anger coming from bella like, ALOT  
*Vampgirl*-I wonder why....Jacob Black!  
Wolfyboi-ahh cry me a river  
ShinyVolvoOwner- too bad we cant cry  
Wolfyboi-you are SOOO mature edward  
ObsessiveShopper- Oh shut up jake i can see that eddy is about to go find you and rip you throat out and take renesmee to bella himself  
Wolfyboi-oooh my paws are quivering....

_ShinyVolvoOwner has signed off_

Wolfyboi- oh, crap!

_Wolfyboi has signed off_

ReincarnationofBeauty- I am bored lets go hunt, em  
GrizzlayMan- k rose

_ReincarnationofBeauty has signed off _

_GrizzlayMan has signed off_

SuperNessie- I hope daddy doesnt hurt jake...  
*Vampgirl*- He wont, i know him, he make break a bone or two but he knows not to bite him  
SuperNessie- wait, i dont want him to hurt him at all

_StupidMongrel has signed on_

StupidMongrel- dont worry Nessie he will recover in a few hours...oops gotta go...love you girls, bye!

_StupidMongrel has signed off_

*Vampgirl*-that was weird  
SuperNessie- was that daddy?  
*Vampgirl*- sadly yes...i'd better go make sure my husband doesnt kill the poor little wolf...

_*Vampgirl* has signed off_

_SuperNessie has signed off_

ObsessiveShopper- Everyone left us jazzy....

_silence...._

ObsessiveShopper- Jasper?

_Knowzhowufeel has been disconected_

ObsessiveShopper- I'm so alone..... i'm so lonely i have nobody for my own...

_ObsessiveShopper has signed off _

_Brittn3yCull3n has signed on_

Brittn3yCull3n- Edward? Jasper? Emmett? Carlise? Jake? Seth?.....someone?

_ShinyVolvoOwner has signed on_

Brittn3yCull3n-ome  
ShinyVolvoOwner-who are you? and...ome?  
Brittn3yCull3n-ome  
ShinyVolvoOwner- ?  
Brittn3yCull3n-oh....uh...i..uh..OH! I..uh...ah!! I am your future wifey!

_ShinyVolvoOwner has signed off_

Brittn3yCull3n- no....edward...come back....i lubs you....

_*Vampgirl* has signed on_

*Vampgirl*- Ok you idiodic HUMAN back off of my husband

_Brittn3yCull3n has signed off_

*Vampgirl*- hmph thats what i thought

_*Vampgirl* has signed off_


	2. Mrs Alpha!

**Hey guys I am like so bored so I wrote this thingy. I hope you guys read Bella Broke Dawn already! If you haven't...go read it when your done here! Please? Ok so I have an awesome question today:**

_What are you doing on the 21st?_

**I am probably going to have a party afterwards....my mom wont let me go to the midnight showing cuz its thursday night and she likes being gay like that :) **

**jk i lubs you mommy lol**

**whatever here is the second part of my IM thingy**

**IMing with the Cullens**

lolvamp-Bella  
ilovebella-Edward  
impathboi-Jasper  
bellaplease?-Alice  
betterthanu-Rosalie  
BigBear-Emmett  
VampyMama-Esme  
DocC-Carlisle  
Alpha-Jacob  
UrFavWolf-Seth  
Renesmee-SuperNessie  
DownWithSeth-Leah  
Mrs Alpha-Me (_**wait, you can put u in it?**_ _why yes, yes i can_)

_LOLVamp has signed on_

_ilovebella has signed on _

_bellaplease? has signed on_

_Mrs Alpha_ _has signed on_

LOLVamp- Hey everyone!  
ilovebella- Hello Bella  
bellaplease?- hey bella...  
LOLVamp- Alice...whats with the name?  
ilovebella- alice, what will we ever do with you?  
bellaplease?- oh please bella? please?!  
LOLVamp- Wait, im confused...please what? Edward, explain  
bellaplease?- well its just...i havent gone shopping in over 14 hours and i was just wondering..please?  
Mrs Alpha- I'll go Alice!  
LOLVamp- OMFC its YOU!  
bellaplease?- i was wondering who that was...  
Mrs Alpha- Bella, i didnt do anything... :(  
ilovebella- Wait, who is it?  
LOLVamp- Its that Brittn3yCull3n person!  
Mrs Alpha- Im not Brittn3yCull3n anymore...im Mrs. Alpha Wolf to you bells  
ilovebella- Dont talk to my bella like that!  
Mrs Alpha- im...sorry edward :*(  
bellaplease?- whatever i dont really care who she is as long as shes not in love with poor eddy anymore  
Mrs Alpha- Oh, I still am...i just like my alpha better..  
LOLVamp- wait, you mean jacob?  
Mrs Alpha- duh...who did you think i meant? sam? ew

_Alpha has signed on_

_SuperNessie has signed on_

LOLVamp- you have **_really_** bad timing jake..  
Alpha- why?  
Mrs Alpha-Omj...  
ilovebella-i thought it was ome?  
LOLVamp- wait, what?  
ilovebella-nothing  
Mrs Alpha- lol, of course edward! I say both...  
SuperNessie- who is ''Mrs Alpha" ?  
Alpha- yes..who is that?  
Mrs Alpha- dang, why does renesmee have to be here?  
SuperNessie- how do you know my name?  
Mrs Alpha- you were the whole reason for Breaking Dawn..how could i NOT know your name? I still wish you were a little EJ though...  
LOLVamp- how do you know these things?!?!?!  
Mrs Alpha- cuz im smart like that-anyways, bella why did renesmee have to be a girl?  
LOLVamp- uhhh, i kinda cant help it...wait, whats your **_real _**name?  
Mrs Alpha- oh! its Britt!  
Alpha- so wait, im confused...  
Mrs Alpha- well, jake, if nessie was a boy you wouldnt have imprinted on her...and u'd be single  
Alpha- uhm..  
Mrs Alpha- whatever, what were we talking about?  
bellaplease?- oh! i know this one! I was asking if bella wanted to go shopping! please bella?  
LOLVamp- I dont know...do i have to?  
ilovebella- actually bella, u kind of do have to...me and the others are going hunting, alice voted to stay behind with you and nessie  
LOLVamp- edward, im **_finally_** a vampire and i still need a babysitter?  
ilovebella- bella, i know you are less breakable but knowing your luck you'll find something bad to do  
LOLVamp- hmph  
bellaplease?- is that a yes?!  
LOLVamp- fine alice  
bellaplease?- i knew it!  
LOLVamp- of course you did alice..  
Alpha- Whatever guys im gunna go get something to eat im hungry  
SuperNessie- I guess i'll go with you jake  
Alpha- k ness...bye bells, bye edward  
Mrs Alpha- What about me? im hurt!  
Alpha- ...bye Britt  
Mrs Alpha- awww bye jakey!

_Alpha has signed off_

SuperNessie- Bye Momma! Bye Daddy! Bye Britt!  
LOLVamp- Bye Nessie, I'll see you later  
ilovebella- bye ness  
Mrs Alpha- Bye Renesmee!!!!!  
ilovebella-.....  
LOLVamp-.....

_SuperNessie has signed off_

bellaplease?- before you ask bella..yes im ready  
LOLVamp- jeez alice...excited mucho?

_bellaplease? has signed off_

LOLVamp- Im guessing I have about 30 seconds before she tears me off of the-

_LOLVamp has been disconnected_

ilovebella- bye bella... :*(  
Mrs Alpha- Dont worry edward, im still here...

_ilovebella has signed off_

Mrs Alpha- I gotta work on that...

_Mrs Alpha has ended the chat room._

**I know, awesome huh? Im not very good at these but oh well, btw julia, i tried to make sure to get the spelling right on this one :) even though its and IM thing..lol...ok well...join the dark side and review! If you do you will get some complimentary cookies! **


End file.
